01 在我年轻时，我是一位极其害怕麻烦他人的人，但奇怪的是，我总是喜欢和那些理直气壮要求你对她好的人为伍。随着时间的推移，这种生活方式让我感到疲惫不堪。多年来...01

在我年轻的时候，我是一个特别害怕麻烦别人的人。但奇怪的事情是，我特别爱和那些理直气壮要求你对她好的人做朋友。

但时间久了，就会觉得很累。这么多年，我从不愿意把这一面示人，直到有一次，忍不住和她们说，为什么你们都不主动关心我一下！

结果她们异口同声的说：因为你心情不好的时候，总是躲起来啊！我们以为你就喜欢这样，所以成全你，不闻不问。

听到这个答案，我真是哭笑不得。

后来，有一次我的闺蜜艾老师聊起她的母亲，说她隔一段时间就会去看望老朋友，都是对方招待。我听完之后，忽然想起我自己的母亲，是一个生怕亏欠别人的人，是一个极怕麻烦别人的女人。在我小的时候，对我说的最多的一句话说：你不要欠别人的。每当接受了亲戚朋友的礼物，她就总会在我面前念叨：这些人情，我总归还得还回去，你怎么能要呢？

I shared these stories with her, and she said: I finally understand you. From young to old, my mom never made me feel that people owe each other; instead, she enjoyed these social interactions as part of the joy of living.

This is a completely different worldview from mine.

One views social interactions as a source of pleasure; the other sees them as a heavy psychological burden.

Thus, it shaped our fundamentally different personalities.

One believes that those who like you won't mind making an effort or being busy on your behalf.

The other believes that if someone likes you, they shouldn't bother you or make you busy.

02

It's not acceptable to simply accept others' kindness without reciprocating in kind; always harboring feelings of indebtedness is an important reason for my inner fatigue over the years.

Until I met a male friend who grew up in a completely different family environment. He was one of those men who would go out of their way to ask for something from someone he liked. I confided in him about my troubles. He found it unbelievable.

"Do they not get tired? Do they not mind?"

"If they are afraid of making an effort, what's the point of dating at all? People are selfish anyway," he said with conviction. "When I do something special for her—something beyond what anyone else would expect—I know exactly: I am truly in love with her."

From that moment on, I began to understand this fact:

Attraction might bring desire,

But love transcends boundaries and principles.

Those who fear bothering others excel at breaking rules and principles on behalf of others but struggle to let others break theirs for them. Many women don't comprehend why seemingly bad girls can attract so many men.

They aren't necessarily bad;

they just express their needs more naturally,

and let their partners break free and showcase their strengths within love relationships—the ones left indelible marks on minds.

03

Reflecting on yourself now,

Do your time and energy go more easily towards those:

those enthusiastic about expressing needs,

who proactively invite you out without hesitation?

Yes,

this is human nature.

You should be honest about what matters most;

otherwise,

the care and attention due to you will be consumed by things outside your control.

The less willing you are to trouble others,

the more likely solitude awaits.

To those fondly devoted to you,

your reluctance forms an insurmountable barrier;

their efforts become nothing short than sleepwalking into pillows—unaware how best to show affection toward someone dear;

they remain strangers waiting at crossroads—forever unsure which path leads back home,

to where hearts connect through shared memories woven like tapestries unique only between two souls...

04

In past gatherings with close friends,

as we parted ways,

they'd often ask:

Will your boyfriend come pick you up?

It's late—

you shouldn't take public transport—

it'll be too much trouble...

I'd respond:

He works hard too—

it wouldn't make sense for him either—

I can find my own way back home...

such relationships were doomed from the start

until meeting him—a man

who consistently asked ahead:

Where are You?

Do You need me picked up?

And when told no distance was involved,

he insisted: A quick drive away—no trouble at all!

Later he became Mr., My Husband-to-be

If You're like Me—a woman wary

of imposing upon another person

then That One Person Who Always Says 'No worries,' before You even speak—before saying It again themselves—isn’t right For You!