跨文化爱情嫁汉穿衣吃饭你养得起我吗
在这充满挑战的都市生活中,我曾经戏称自己经历的一段恋情为电话恋情,因为它从开始到结束,几乎都是通过电话完成的。晚晴,一位27岁的黑龙江女孩儿,在北京闯荡三年后,她通过婚介机构在报上登了征婚广告。在婚姻问题上她不想将就,她说:“有的人虽然很有钱,但我更注重人的素质,如果碰到个有钱人就随便嫁了,那岂不是把自己给卖了吗?我是个自立的女人,成家后我要持续干自己的事业,我不当家庭妇女。我虽是个外地女孩儿,但我有自己的庄严,我爱的人必须尊敬我,我们两人之间不应该存在大于号和小于号的问题。”
作为一名应征者,听了以上晚晴说的一席话,我对她颇有好感。在与我的通话中,晚晴问道:“嫁汉嫁汉,穿衣吃饭,你养得起我吗?”我有些诧异地说:“怎么才算养得起呢?”她说:“你有房吗?”我说:“没有。”她又问:“你有许多钱吗?”我说:“没有,但我想你不应该为钱而嫁,我和你是同龄人,都很年轻,年轻时就出人头地,这固然很理想,但这样的人太少了。选择对象应该以人为本,找一个能理解你的男人,他们两个一同奋斗靠自己的勤劳和聪明创造美好的生活,那才是真正的幸福。如果现在他有一些能力但不思进取等能力再增强那就是完美。
接下来,我和晚晴的电话就比较频繁了,有时要打到深夜。不过每次I都声明,不谈家庭背景,不谈工作单位,只谈我们两个人。尽管我的经济条件和个人条件都令人艳羡,但I依然一个富于理想浪漫男人,对爱情执着追求吸引晚晴。
也许事儿就错在I太浪漫了,大概说I伪装得太像“穷光蛋”了。我对晚晴说i家里没有电话,每次通话I都是打路边的公用电话。late rain讲起她的家里的事儿,她哥哥、姐姐还有一个与她是双胞胎弟弟。她父母曾经合并过一段时间,她气愤之下改姓母亲姓氏。当Late Rain讲到她曾经经历的一段非常穷困日子时,I心里深处油然而生一种责任感。
Late Rain不相信i总是在打公用电话。一天深夜,我们通话即将结束时Late Rain突然间间间对i 说“你骗子,如果是公用电话怎么会这么安静,你一定是在家的。” I略迟疑了一下,说“现在夜这么深了马路上一个行人都没有怎么能不安静呢?” i又补充了一句“我现在好冷。” 这时候不知道 Late Rain 在发言机那一端听到什么响动,她激动地说 “哦, 我听到投币的声音.” 她立刻劝 i 回家睡觉(sleep),改天再给我打電話.I 说 “手里攥着一把硬币 想打完回去.” Late Rain沉默了一会儿,说 "如果18岁的时候能够遇见这样的男孩,也许早点结婚。但是我已经超过那个年龄阶段,而且有点现实考虑,我们俩一起生活下去,是不是有点难度?"
之后我们的交流变得更加频繁,有时候聊到了凌晨。但每一次通信中,i 都坚持只讨论我们两人的事情,而非社会经济状况或其他细节。这让我感到温暖,因为这是关于真实感情而非虚假财富或社会地位。而且,即使面临财务上的挑战,我仍旧坚信价值远比金钱重要——诚实、尊重,以及共同努力建立未来。
不过,就像所有故事一样,这份相互支持与信任最终被证明是不够长久的。不知何故,一切似乎都不再那么顺畅起来。一天傍晚,当 i 再次拨通她的号码时,却发现我们的关系开始出现裂痕。
"为什么总是一副贫穷潦倒样子?" she asked me with a hint of frustration in her voice. "Do you really think that's how to win my heart? Don't you know that I'm not just looking for someone who can provide for me, but also someone who understands and respects me?"
As we continued to talk, it became clear that our relationship was built on shaky ground. The distance between us grew wider with each passing day, and the conversations became increasingly strained.
In the end, it was not the financial struggles or the lack of material possessions that broke us apart. It was the realization that our values and priorities were no longer aligned. We both wanted a partner who would support us in every sense of the word - emotionally, financially, and intellectually.
But as we parted ways, I couldn't help but feel a sense of regret wash over me. For all its flaws and imperfections, our love story had been unique in its own way - a tale of two people from different walks of life coming together despite their differences.
And so as I hung up the phone for what felt like an eternity later on late rainy nights when loneliness crept in ,the memories lingered on .The laughter we shared ,the tears we cried together still echoed through my mind like whispers from another world now lost forever
Perhaps one day when time heals all wounds , maybe someday when fate brings us back into each other's lives again under different circumstances . But until then this chapter remains closed for now leaving only unanswered questions lingering within hearts yet to find peace